TV Flashback: Married with Children (Peg and Kelly Bundy in leather)

This episode...this episode...damn! Video has no sound but do you really need it???

BDSM and Slavery: Some Thoughts

In the truest sense of the term as it relates to D/s, does a slave really not know what his/her Master/Mistress is doing? As the levels of submission progess upward from a scene to submission, servitude and then committing as a slave, wouldn't it be in the best interest of the slave to know what the dominant is doing? Not day to day, stalkerish knowing what someone is doing but knowing and having awareness of the plans that a dominant has for their slave. I think that this is based on what each party knows what to expect from one another and most importantly, what each party brings to the table. Although as a submissive in a lot of respects some of my wants and needs aren't completely considered for the sake of deferring to the dom but I do have things that I bring readily and happily to give as does my Mistress. So yes, we are in a D/s relationship but we fulfill one another at some level. I recieve stern caring and discipline (when needed) and I fill my role in serving my Mistress' needs and I hold up my end of the relationship in ensuring that she is happy as I put my needs aside for the greater good of our relationship.

Maybe the better question to ask is how can I be enslaved and not know what Mistress is doing or will do to me? Again, I may not know exactly every move she will make when I bow at her feet and serve her but I have a pretty good idea that from our interactions and talking with one another she knows what makes me weakest and how to get my attention. The talking is the most important aspect.  My experiences are weird in that when I first encounter a domme, usually their website or other information can be intimidating. First thought is, "damn she's hardcore and don't take no shit." This should be true in all situations but breaking past that initial barrier I have found that dommes are human, that at a certain level they want to know you as person and a submissive. In some cases, the two are not necessarily one in the same but there is a link and understanding the link, the person and WHY they are in their dungeon is important because as I mentioned, as the levels of submission intensify, the slave is still the one in service but the link between dominant and submissive should be as strong, like a relationship. (A word that I never thought I would ever associate in the realm of D/s but when Mistress used it once, it actually made sense.)

Communication can happen at anytime in a D/s relationship and it is almost like everyday conversation. I have in past blog entries stated that to me, communication is the hallmark of establishing a D/s relationship and most folks wholeheartedly agree. Although we have not had a lot of face to face time, Mistress and i talk as much as we can via text, phone or internet. I find learning more about her makes me a better submissive for her as her learning about me helps her to determine what things she needs to do to keep me motivated as her devoted sub and pet. I don't think true slavery should be defined by how much one is abused or extremely treated. If that is your thing and both parties are in agreement, then that is the nature of your relationship. To take harsh treatment that is not mutual is not a true D/s relationship and the actions of a dom that subjects someone to this can be highly questionable. There is no need to be abused, you are a slave not a doormat!

Hopefully you are not in the dark as a slave but you are an equal partner in your enslavement. Again equality does not mean in importance but it means that you have a equal stake in the slavery that you have entered into with a dominant. By having equality in the nature of the D/s relationship, there is respect, open communication and love amongst the slave and dominant.

Evening Devotion to Mistress Rene

i devote my life to You
i bring you my soul
Kneeling
Offering my submission
Longing to be fully Yours
Proudly showing my devotion to You Mistress
i lie down and accept all You have to give me
Hoping to taste Your nectar
Golden essence
Sealing my bond
To You
As my Ebony Goddess
Always remembering
It is You
Who holds my leash
Whom i obey
With everything i have
And with all i have
i lay down and offer
For You Mistress


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Mistress Rene's domain: Dark Discipline

How far is too far??

Being kinky means that what you like may not float someone else's boat and vice versa. Kink is a lot like real life where you may be a brussel sprout person but someone else isn't. That doesn't make the other person bad or less of a person, it just means that you look at one issue differently and thus that diversity makes life all the better. So when you are exposed to new kink, it allows for a moment of pause, reflection and a question: "Could I see myself doing this?" When we say no, we have responded to a boundary that we cannot cross for whatever reason and that should garner respect from others, especially when we are engaged in a D/s relationship where we seek to expand and push ourselves beyond what we are comfortable with and to be a bit better in whatever role we have assumed. But when is it acceptable to engage in behaviors that may not be what we like but can be extreme or open the doors for activities that are beyond normal and may be criminal and illegal? And where are (if there are) acceptable forums for such activities?

I think the key question is what is deemed acceptable by most and what is deemed beyond the fray of acceptability? Most would agree that having sex with an animal is beyond the level of acceptability although there are those who engage in this behavior and share it freely in a blog or on a fetish friendly social networking site. My feeling though would be that in sharing this openly, it potentially opens the door for more behaviors that are socially unacceptable and as I mentioned illegal. We have to remember that there are very sick people in the world who see the world differently that most and have no issue with seeing what they do as a fetish and not as going past fetish and entering into a realm of "no go." I don't want to come off as judgemental, I think where the judging comes in is where we leave what is considered acceptable as far as fetish is concerned and we enter into situations where lives become impacted or affected by behaviors or activities that are not accepted by kinky folk. 

I may have opened a can of worms or an interesting debate here. What do you think? Are there "standards" of kinkiness and what is acceptable as fetishes in BDSM?

Get yourself an Understanding

"Sometimes a man and woman have an understanding that no one else understands." ---Lackawanna Blues

I hate when folks enter a relationship or even a Friends with Benefits (FWB) situation and find themselves pissed off because shit isn't what they thought it would be. Let me give you an example: I knew this dude through a mutual friend who met a girl and they started dating. The girl was bi and let the dude know and he was cool with it. The problem came into play when they would go out to clubs and she would start dancing with and hitting on other chicks. When I tell you dude was pissed about this, he was pissed. Hearing this story, I just shook my head and wondered why you mad, you knew she was bi thus at some point she would probably want to mess with other women and maybe bring them home. For most dudes, this is not a problem but the issue that they had was they lacked an "understanding". This is what I try to relay to folks when in the FWB especially since relationships sometimes lack room for the "understanding" unless there is some openness to said relationship. 

Having that understanding is kind of simple, I mean you need to be upfront about certain things upfront and then go from there. Be clear and specific about what you want. If you want a strict FWB and the other person wants more, no need to waste time there. But even if you want the same things, how the two of you operate within that context needs ground rules.I found myself in a couple of strictly sexual/we go out to dinner type situations a few years back and what I learned from that is you either have to be upfront to start or lay some rules out before things get to the "catching feelings" stage which after a while things got there. Real talk, I was playing the field like a motherfucker and having a great time! I just needed that while I took time to get myself back together after being in a long-term relationship. So I didn't really have ground rules, I was just here there and everywhere but I think in a kind of undercover way, each woman kind of knew what was up  At that time, I was  not ready for a relationship and I had to be honest about how I felt. It sucked because that could have been the end of something but better to be honest and let that person find someone that really wanted to be with them than to live a lie while you getting some good ass sex! 

I can understand if you are in a situation where there aren't a lot of good prospects and are looking to settle down but hell go with the flow. Sometimes a good FWB could go the other way but don't hang your hat on it. The scenario I talked about above with the guy and his bi girl is something I laugh about a lot because it illustrates a simple idea that two folks can get what they want from each other if they talk, establish the ground rules, stick to them and make changes (compromise) along the way. So instead of being pissed off and making himself look like an idiot (because the average guy would give his first born to be in that situation) he should have sat down and asked, when would you like to be with another woman and where should I be when this happens. Hopefully she will say, you can join in when that event happens or fuck you tell me who you want me to bring home. That is a very simplistic view of that complex situation but if you talk, you could have lots of freaky shit to talk about for years to come! 

Public Enema #1 (Another Twitter inspired post)

When I think enema, I think relief. I can count the number of times on one hand in my almost 40 years of life I have had to use an enema and trust it wasn't to please anyone else but me. When the guts are screaming free me, I had to make that run and get stuff moving...for lack of a better term. But why I asked Goddess Destiny of Philadelphia (@DestinysChamber on twitter) makes an enema such a liked fetish because I knew it was a fetish but again WHY??? It again boils down to two basic things that D/s is built on, control and the ability of the submissive to accept a challenge and to please his or her dominant. I would think that no matter what the fetish is and no matter how involved or invasive it is, completion of the task in a fashion that pleases the dominant is of the utmost importance. Besides, it doesn't hurt to have a super clean ass for taking a dildo or other implements of insertion again to please your dominant.

So what have we learned from this brief blog entry?
1. Be a good submissive, do all you can in the moment and behind the scenes to please your dominant.
2. Be clean at all times and when you give yourself an enema or when your dominant shoves that enema up your ass, it's for a very good reason. You need to be squeaky clean for GP or something else is going up your ass soon enough.
3. It's not bad to revisit things to see if they have room in your fetish repetoire. I don't know right now if i'm all about enemas on the regular but again something I may want to do more research on and talk more to dominant and fellow subs alike about their views on the topic.

Judging from the conversation i had with Goddess Destiny, she had a busy day of enemas and it sounded like something that was popular among her subs/clients. Just a very interesting day, conversation and inspiring enough for me to write this blog. Let's all raise our enema bags and salute all those who are in pursuit of pleasure, cleanliness and fun!

Holla!

Captured by Mistress Rene...

i knelt before my computer on Friday to say my morning devotion to Mistress Rene. At the completion of the week, i also end my devotion with the Manifesto of Service. When i finished, i could not get up. i heard Mistress’ voice and i recalled the first day i served at her feet. Mistress spitting in my mouth was the beginning although i was unaware at the time of my path towards falling in love with her and being totally addicted and devoted to her. While i was on my knees, i began to state out loud how much i wanted to accept more of Mistress, be her recepticle for her essence and her golden nectar. Yes, i want to fully accept that and more from Mistress! i want Mistress Rene to own me and i say that now i am on the path to earn her trust in me as her owned and collared property. Mistress Rene told me that i would feel this way and i do fully, she has had her way with me, has entered me fully and she is the center of my submissive world.